I've rewritten this a couple of times now and each time it just sounds pretentious. I don't know if it's a fault of the kind of piece I'm writing, if reflections by their nature are at heart a bit pretentious, and then I realise it's happened again. Pretentiousness for everyone!
Hopefully that's it out of my system. On to the point: I've been re-examining myself over the past year, partially because it's coming up to a new year and partially because of one of my Christmas present. I had asked for, and was given, a scrapbook to fill. Thankfully I managed to get out of the house and do things so I have a couple of pages that I can fill with stuff, but there's a lot of empty pages too. Already I know of future events that can fill these, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. I don't feel like enough to be worth recording.
So, the question is what will I do to fix that?
Before I spill all my faults out to the internet and world at large, which I've probably covered in past posts regardless, I'll just say now that I'll figure all this out properly in my own time and space. I'm just going to put the things here that I'm happy sharing, so don't worry you won't be getting a 40 page epic on changes of diet and exercise that'd I'd never keep to anyway.
One thing that I will put here is that I want to do more. I want to travel more, I want to spend more time with friends and I want to talk to people more. I have a real difficultly talking to people and it's something that I can only work on by going ahead and doing it regardless of how nervous or anxious it makes me, and I'm not saying that I suffer from social anxiety issues- I've known plenty people that do, I'm just a whinger in comparison. In the past year I've done so much more than I usually do, and it's still a pathetic amount of nothing. I want to, and will do everything I can to change this, but it's up to me to do that.
Another thing that kind of ties in with the above post as it is part of the doing more campaign is that I want to get into the habit of writing regularly. I was given an amazing leather bound notebook and I have access to various writing programs on my laptop and now my new phone so I don't have the excuse of not having anywhere to write. I have ideas too, so that's not really an issue, it's just laziness, a bad habit. So my writing goal is a minimum of 250 words a week, per week. If I go over one week that's great, but they do not carry on to the next week. If I write 250 words a week by the end of a year I would've written 130,000 words minimum. It's a low target sure, but that's not the point, the point is to make it a habit that I'm comfortable with, so that when it comes to writing something with real purpose it's not a total uphill climb. It might be that my 250 words end up in this blog or that they go into a story, either way, as long as they're being written.
In closing, whatever your reflections on the past year bring you I hope you have many happy memories in there and I hope that the oncoming year brings you many more.
Yndi Halda!
